The Pasta Conundrum

I don't think I've ever been able to finish a pasta entree at a restaurant. Ever. I don't think I ever will.

It's just...too much food.

I mean, I like fettucine alfredo and all, but when there's that much of it? I just can't handle it.

At every Italian restaurant I've ever been to, they start you off with some sort of bread basket. At Olive Garden, it's the breadsticks. At other places, it's that yummy, freshly baked bread that comes with the rosemary dipping oil. It's delicious--and free--so of course you have to say yes when the waiter asks if you'd like more bread. Even if you swore that you were giving up carbs so that you can look good in your bikini. Screw that.

And then there's the salad. Mmm, everyone loves a good salad. Especially when there's that shaker full of Parmesan cheese sitting there...

Not to mention that at some restaurants (like Olive Garden) the salad and breadsticks are endless. No joke.

If you're eating with someone else-- say, your entire family--the salad might not even be yours. You might have ordered soup as a side, but you're eating the salad just because it's there and y'all planned it this way so that you could have both the soup and the salad.

So by the time your actual pasta entree arrives, you're pretty much stuffed.

I just don't understand why my penne in marinara sauce has to come in a large basin in quantities large enough to feed an entire African village for a week. Like, sure it costs $18.95 or whatever, but couldn't they give you less and charge you less? Because after I finish, oh, maybe one-tenth of it, I have to decide whether to let the waiter throw it out or take it home and then throw it out myself. Because let's face it, leftover pasta is just not that appetizing.

The last time I went to an Italian restaurant, I ordered their special meatball sub. And guess what? I didn't finish it.

What else is new?