Deadly Sin: Wrath

--Readers, this message is not directed toward you. I was just angry and needed to rant.--

You've spent my entire life putting me down and telling me that I can't do this or can't do that. You are the reason that I have no self-esteem whatesoever. Why are you encouraging me now? Did you think that you could make up for what you did?

I just want to hear you say that you're proud of me for something for once. You say it all the time for HER, but then again, she's the perfect child. I'm just the trailblazer--I do everything first so that she can come along and do it perfectly a few years later and then everyone forgets that I did it first.

This is stupid and really trivial, but it's really unfair how she never has to eat tomatoes because she doesn't like them and she's allowed to make a huge fuss about how "uncomfortable" her clothes are and refuse to wear them. I just do what I'm told and yet I still get in trouble for it. Is it just because she's younger? What the hell do you want from me?

And another thing, why don't my report cards get put on the refrigerator? I mean, it's not like I care that much about it, but if you're going to put them up, either do both or none at all. You're sending me such mixed messages. I don't know what to think.

It's so obvious that you favour her. I don't know who you're trying to fool when you say you don't. You're not even fooling yourself. We all know it.

I'll bet you're so glad that I'm leaving for college. I bet you don't want me to come back. Then you can pretend that I never existed, and you can have your perfect little child all to yourself where she'll never be corrupted by my unseemly and imperfect ways.

I'm not asking for you to treat me like you treat her; I don't want that. I just want you to be able to see that I'm special in my own ways, and I want you to be proud of that and show it. I want some credit for what I've done, and not just for the times I screwed up, but for the times I did a good job too.

And even if you can't do that, I want you to try and understand me. I want you to listen to me. Did you ever notice that I never come to you and talk about whatever it is mothers and daughters are supposed to talk about? How can I? All you ever do is interrupt me and start lecturing me and telling me some stupid story about when you were young. GET OVER YOURSELF. I'm not you. I'm my own person, and maybe if you actually shut up for once, you'd know what kind of person I am and what kind of person I want to be. If you're not going to listen to what I say, then don't even bother asking for my opinion or whatever. It's a waste of my breath.

If you ever read this, you'd probably just deny it and then accuse me of blowing things out of proportion and BLAH BLAH BLAH. It doesn't matter what you say. You can't hide the truth.