The Truth About Guys

Boys=Jerks

This is probably the most important (and truthful) equation ever. Screw algebra.

Boys + Their Friends=Jerks

Therefore, the first equation is further supported.

All boys are inherently jerks. Maybe you know this really nice, really sweet guy. Well, he's a jerk too. They all are. Just some of them are jerks underneath, and some...not so underneath.

They're even worse when they're with all their friends. They feel the need to be "macho" and do stupid (and sometimes) cruel things to prove that they are manly. And possibly impress you, the bewildered female. He's always been so sweet and caring, but all of a sudden he's ignoring you and pushing you away when you try to join in, almost as if he's embarassed to be seen with you. Studies have shown that this is typical guy behavior.

The best thing to do in this case is to go out and have fun with your girlfriends. Then when you're alone with him again, you can tell him about how hot shirtless [insert actor of your choice] was in that movie you went and saw while he was ignoring you. This is sure to annoy him, and may lead to an argument.

When arguing with a boy, never bring up things that he did/said in the past. Boys have remarkably short memory spans, similar to goldfish. They will not know what you're talking about and claim that it never happened and that you're just making it up. Or that you're dragging in things that have nothing to do with the argument at hand. Instead, you should just distract him by looking cute. Then you'll kiss and make up and you'll have won the fight.

In addition to having short memory spans, boys also get jealous easily and are fairly possessive creatures. You are like a piece of property to him. Obviously, this is unacceptable. YOU must be in control. This takes a massive amount of training, but you will get there eventually.